i think | caroli9's Blog

Ive been thinking again. And it wont stop. The noise in my head is beating louder and louder.

I want to tell him that i love him. I want him to tell me he loves me. its so quiet qithout him around. I shall surely go mad. But i cant.

i wont.

I dont know why i feel i should tell him that .. I understand. And i love him more because of what he is doing.

whatever that is.

I want him to be happy. I basically told him i made a choice and that im going and if i keep seeing him my family will wash there hands of me.

i want him to love me.

I have not heard from him.... i think about him all the time. 

I want to stop.

i want to stop. I need to move past this... this fear of letting go. I want to cry out to him ... why isnt he here.

where are you :( ?  

but I CANT !! I HAVE to move on .... i have to. nothing can good can come from staying at home and doing nothing.

i must go to bed. Although i know i will be thinking , dreaming, thinking